Up next: The Field of 4,096

D3hoops.com contributed a photo but can take no credit for the hilarious mockery The Onion has made of the NCAA Tournament. Their Onion Sports Network video is below. It previews an NCAA Tournament bracket of 4,096 basketball teams, from D-I to D-III, community colleges to trade schools.

4096 teams

Swarthmore freshman guard Will Scheuing is from a Lou Rabito photo.

As OSN “college basketball analyst” Joe Monticello puts it: “Look out for Eckerd. They’ve got a full roster, and they’re having practices.”

When the matchups scroll by in the video, see if you can spot D-III schools Johns Hopkins, SUNY-Geneseo, Suffolk, Gustavus Adolphus … and the conference rematch in the first round. I suspect that’s probably in a 488-537 game, and you know it’s tough to beat a team three times in one season. Wait, this would be just twice.

Not sure the embed is working here so if not, click on the link.

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

8 thoughts on “Up next: The Field of 4,096

  1. I also noticed Hobart with a first-round matchup vs. Oklahoma State. I’m looking forward to the Geneseo-Central Conn. St. matchup at 4:08 a.m. myself.

  2. I think I saw a Gustavus Adolphus vs. Weber State match as well. Wouldn’t the University of Phoenix dominate this tournament? After all they probably have half a million students worldwide to choose from. Although scheduling practices might be hard.

  3. Of all the fake teams in the bracket, I think the Tyler Hansbrough Fan Club was particularly inspired.

  4. Fran, that’s unfortunate — that should definitely be a matchup for the Tentative 1,024 or the Fantastic 512.

  5. Buena Vista (a/k/a BVU) gets a bid, too. They’re playing The Merry College of Worchester and Associated Colleges next Thursday.

    I’ve already called Grenrock to complain that they’re not providing video for their game vs. Ohio State University Agricultural Technical Institute at Wooster. Grenrock sucks.

  6. I thought the Bombers were snubed but after seeing the logic of ONION I now know WHO STOLE THE KISHKA

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