The New York Times ran a story in today’s editions regarding parents’ rage towards coaches (NYT requires registration). While the incident that inspired the story, which involved a Connecticut high school softball player’s dad bashing a coach’s skull six times with an aluminum bat, isn’t related to Division III, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen here.
I’ve seen it and I’m sure every coach has seen it. I’ve seen parents accost officials and athletic directors too. I’ve stepped in to break up one of those conversations myself. If that parent had been physically violent, I don’t know what would have happened. But with reports of violence between parents and high school coaches seemingly on the rise, something may need to be done.
Daniel Doyle, former men’s basketball coach at Trinity (Conn.) who founded the Institute for International Sport at the University of Rhode Island, told the paper: “In all my time coaching, I had one parent come to me with a complaint about playing time, and he made an appointment and was very respectful. I give talks to coaches at about 60 Division III colleges every year now. The one thing they all say is this: ‘Our problem with parents is overwhelming.’ ”
Parents: Step back and look at the big picture. Even at the Division III level, there are a lot of kids who were accustomed to being the stars of their high school team. In college, your son or daughter is playing with (and against) kids who had similar status at other high schools. Not everyone can start at the next level.
In fact, Doyle addressed this as well in a recent interview with the Waterbury Republican-American in Connecticut.
“If we are dealing with a coach who doesn’t play your kid, or a player is suspended, or even with an umpire who makes a bad call, it is very important for that experience to be a positive one for the kid because they learn how to deal with disappointment. It should be the player who talks with a coach about playing time. That’s where jumping in to protect a child, which is a parental instinct, is not in the best interest.”
Unfortunately, and I know this as a parent of three myself, that’s not the easiest thing to do.
“There isn’t a program in the nation that has not had some moments of discomfort at one time or another with a parent,” another coach told me. “Thankfully those moments rarely turn violent.”
Unfortunately, that might not continue.
Good points, Pat. Without delving into the murky sociological and [perhaps] psychopathological aspects herein, I agree that there is a genuine problem. My gut feeling is that it might stem, at least in part, from the ‘regimented’ athletic competition that’s now the case, from T-Ball to Little League to Pee-Wee football, basketball, and soccer to high school and thereafter. When, apparently, so many parents want their child to be a ‘winner,’ seemingly at the expense of all else, then we have the potential for some serious trouble.
Warren that very topic was touched on in the article. With the rising tuition costs more parents are pushing their children to excel in sports or other activities that will help them win scholarships. They are putting this pressure on kids and on themselves and many can’t handle it and break down.